Letting go is never easy

It is really hard to decide what to do with a relationship with someone once you have loved. I'm in a crossroad once again. I'm in a dilemma,there’s a lot of questions running through my mind .. Can I reroute the course that I have taken and  start all over again? Can I put aside my feelings,  and pretend that nothing happened? When in fact all I want is to be real with myself, with the person I used to love..but  now all I feel for him is affection.

How do I walk away from someone I loved and take the road of friend? Can I really do that? Nah, I can’t. I don’t really want to let him go, but I don’t know what to do.. Whenever I saw this huge question mark in my mind, I always look at our pictures,memories.. We have shared so much together,laughter,fun times, tears… Yet sometimes we can’t turn back time. And now I don’t know If I should walk away and allow ourselves to heal. My mind says stay but it’s my heart I must trust.

All I’ve wanted is to build a stable relationship with someone, all I want is to be loved, to be respected… but now I’ve realized that I cannot find stability in my love life if I am not emotionally stable, if I am not honest  with myself about the feelings,beliefs,doubts and hurts of my life. I cant even take responsibility and ownership for my past life and mistakes so I blame others.

I know one day we will be happy and our soul mate we will find. I know we each have one.. out there. Even if for now..only in our minds. May life be gentle with us, may God’s best come our way..

For now ,all I can do is to give my best shot, to make this relationship work  until I find the right answer, the right one, not only for us but for me as well.